The only time I get on here is on Thursday nights while I am watching Project Runway. Tonight they are making clothes from items in a party supply store. It's hilarious! The lastest in my life right now is work, mostly. I have been working a lot this week. Next Thursday classes start and I'm super excited about it! Gracie only has the rest of this week and next week before she tracks out for three weeks. Time is flying by ridiculously fast. I mean, it's already August. Pretty soon it will be Christmas. I am excited about the kids birthdays though. There is a place here where you can paint pottery and they have packages for birthdays and I think we may have Gracie's party there. It's just different from the skating rink or anything I did when I was growing up. Our house isn't big enough to have a party so I think we may do the pottery painting party. She loves art and is very creative so I'm pretty sure she will love it. Is it absolutely crazy that I'm already thinking about Christmas presents. We don't have a huge income and buying things over a span of time really helps us out. I don't want to keep getting them the same things every year so thinking ahead will benefit in the long run. Will being 15, is kind of difficult to buy for. Gracie, however, is a 10 yr old girl and will probably love anything. And I was a 10 yr old girl at one time, so it's a lot easier to buy for her.
And my birthday is coming up in the next month or so. I will be 22. Wow...old...j/k!! I know that 22 isn't old, in fact I do still feel like a kid sometimes, but I also feel very much like a long time mom, ya know? Not like I have been a mom for a year, but have been a mom for a decade or so. I love feeling like that, but I am only 21 - 22. I don't know any one my age who would say any of this. I'm the odd ball in the group. In fact, I am soo ready to have a baby. I know that right now isn't a good to have a baby, but I know that Billy and I will eventually have a baby. I think about it all the time, will it look like me or him? what will it look like? I know that no matter what it looks like I will love it to death, but I just want to know if it will have my blue eyes or Billy's honey green eyes (I think they look honey green, he thinks they are brown, they're not!). I wonder what color hair it will have or what it's coo or laugh or voice will sound like? Will it have my long thin toes or Billy's short stubby toes? I wonder at all the different combinations of characteristics it could have. Whether it's a boy or girl doesn't bother me. I would love to know what it's like to be pregnant, not just the enjoyable moments but all of it, the miserable last few weeks where you can hardly breath and the unglamorous bouts of nausea. I want all of it. Like I said, now is not the time for that in my life. I know it will happen and when it does I will be ready. And not just me, but Billy and the kids and the rest of our family. It will all happen on God's timing, not mine or what I consider God's timing that is secretly my timing, but His timing. I just have to wait, which is always the hardest thing to do.
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